‘Orrid, ‘Orrid, git yerslef over ‘ere. Relight mi fire, I need some light to show yer sumfing’
The Mighty Jai, Over Chieftain of the lands between Griffon Pass and the Dark Crag, sat up in his bed of soiled furs.
His son ‘Orrid did as he was told and got the fire roaring, then went to sit beside him.
‘Mi times nearly up ‘Orrid, its time fer you ta tek over,’ said the great corpulent goblin. ‘Time fer you to be chief’
‘But dad, I’m not cut out to bi chief, I’m no good at scrappin ‘n stuff. I prefer dancin’
‘All tell yer a secret ‘Orrid, neither wuz I until we found da stuff in dat old temple. It’s dat stuff that’us meant a’ve lived s’long,’
‘So dat’s why everyfing changes but you, dad? But ‘as it stopped workin? Why does it afta stop now?’ asked ‘Orrid
‘Nah, its not stopped workin’, but im worn out. Yer go now.’ With that he lifted the great horned helm from his head and placed it on his son’s. It was far too big. Jai had never seen his father without the helm- without it he looked older, less fearsome. ‘Dat’ll protect yer, mek yer cleverer an all.’ He reached down to his bedside with a groan and picked up an oversized axe.’ ‘ere, tek dat, an’ if anyone gives yer any trouble, ‘it ‘em wiv it.’ ‘Orrid took the axe, and was surprised how light it felt. He also realised that the helm now fitted snuggly around his skull. Could it be magic? Must be.
‘But yall need sum ladz ter ‘elp, ‘Orrid. Who’se yer best mates in da tribe? Whats dat one wiv der limp called, him whose always scared?’
‘Dats ‘obbled dad’
Yer dats him, coward ’obbled I call him. Give him dat big flag in der corner an ill neva be scared again. Who else?’
‘Barfo?’ ‘Orrid volunteered?
‘He da chunky one? Give him dat club next to da flag, he’ll get real gory if he ‘its em wiv dat!’ Jai pointed to what looked to be a thick tree branch studded with cruel metal spikes. ‘Any more of yer?’
‘Nobby?’ ‘Orrid offered.
‘Nah, not him son. Not dat silly’un. He’s betta off on his own, ill end up being a fanatic, just wait un see. Dat it? Whose dat gobby one?’
‘Oh yer, dats Morko dad’
‘Give im da horn dats in da pile an all, dat’ll suit him, bein full o’wind!’ Jai laughed at his own joke, which quickly turned into a painful splutter.
Get em all up ere an give em da stuff boy, cos I know Toebiter is after bein’ chief an will tek some stoppin. Once yer’ve sorted him, yer could rule da world!’
‘But wot ‘bout you dad, wot can I do fer yer?’
‘Pray’ his father said, and breathed his last.
So Jai’s son ‘Orrid got his band together, and handed them out the various items.
‘Wot we gunna do now, ‘Orrid?’ Asked Barfo, swinging his club experimentally from side to side.
‘Anyfing we want. We can rule da world!’ replied ‘Orrid, confidence flowing from his magical helmet. ‘Question is, wot we gunna call arselfs?’